Samhain

The time of Samhain is approaching.

I love this holiday, both in it's sacred aspect and the secular celebration of Halloween. It's a time of darkness, but with the knowledge that dark does not mean bad. It is only an absence of light. For a little while we can wear our fears and laugh at the darkness, knowing that it is a part of us whether we accept it or not, and so we might as well accept it.

This is a time of death, both physical and metaphorical. Last year I was drawn to honor the ancestors and collect bones. This year I am being told to explore my own interior darkness, and perhaps shine a light onto some old demons. So I try to let myself sit with the darkness, and I wait.

In spite -- or perhaps because -- of this, I find myself oddly apathetic this year. For the first time that I can remember, I'm not looking forward to either Samhain or Halloween. This month has been riddled with obstacles for me, and now I'm just tired. I've decided to take November 1 off, to spend the whole day in ritual (and the preparation thereof). It's decadent, but I think I need this. I need something to rejuvinate me, and maybe show me a light at the end of this dark night of the soul.