Renewal

I've been feeling less than spiritually connected of late. I find myself wallowing in the quagmire of my own neuroses, accumulating a thick layer of psychic sludge. Of course, there's only one way to deal with that - a good bath.

I have developed a bit of a ritual around my occasional bathes, such that they follow a very specific progression. First, I bring in a solitary candle (any candle will do). Then I set up my iPod and speakers, and begin my carefully selected Goddess Bath playlist. I set the water to running (very hot), pour in some sea salt and several drops each of lavender and peppermint essential oils (my signature cleansing blend). Then I settle into the slowing filling bath, and let the healing begin.

It's like coming home after a long journey. The music keeps me from getting restless, and I just soak in the glorious water, letting the salt dissolve whatever negativity is clinging to me, while the oils cleanse my spirit.

When I emerge, I feel like I have achieved some sort of mystical at-one-ment with the universe. I am calm and centered, loving and at peace. Unfortunately, this state is at odds with the world around me, and so encountering other people (aka, my husband) can be very jarring. I'm still working on that problem ;-)

Tonight, after coming out, I decided to consult my deck. I was shuffling the cards when my hand touched one that just felt right, so I flipped it over. It was the ten of water, subtitled "Calm." I don't know much about tarot (except that my deck is not very traditional), but this just seemed so fitting. The picture shows a man in a white robe sitting in a field, incense in one hand and feather in the other. A heron stands beside him, and in the foreground a small bird perches on a branch.

I hope that I can hold that kind of space within myself in the days to come.