Elemental Balancing

I consider myself to be above average in the self-knowledge department.  There may be a lot that I haven't figured out about what I have to offer and where I am going, but I spend enough time naval-gazing that I am well aware of my own tendencies, feelings, and patterns.

Like any self-respecting pagan, I know my astrological chart.  There is a bit of paper with all of my planets and signs scribbled stuck in a binder somewhere, so I know that my profile is chock full of water and air, with no fire or earth.  I know that this is an accurate reflection of myself -- very emotional, but also intellectual; romantic but flighty.  I always joke that it's a good thing I can't get my head and my heart to agree, because if they ever stop pulling me in opposite directions I would be an unstoppable force!

The other day I did a ritual to work on my issues with depression.  I have been pulling cards and getting messages related to fire, so it eventually occurred to me that strengthening that element within myself might be the key.  Lo and behold, there is a ritual for that very thing in The Way of Four!  It was perfect!  Since the ritual is based on emphasizing the aspects of the desired element already in oneself, I just had to come up with some firey qualities of my own.  The book has an elemental profile quiz, so I decided to refer to that.  But as I was already on the page, I decided to answer for all of the elements, just for fun and the result was somewhat surprising, as I came out as predominantly water and.... earth. 

Now, before you start thinking that I'm getting worked up over nothing -- after all, it's just a book! -- let me say that the fact is that the more I thought about it, the more sense it actually made.  I know that I tend to dress and decorate in a rather earthy way -- I've always claimed that it's because I need that grounding energy in my life because I'm so flighty.  But what if that isn't it?  What if I have a lot more earth energy than I thought?  Sure, I don't have the dedication and nose to the grindstone attitude that I associate with earth people, but I am very reliable, loyal, honest, and straight forward

I'm going to try to be more open to who I am, rather than who I think I am.  Perhaps letting go of some of my preconceived notions about myself is one of the things I need to be doing right now!

Oh, and the fire ritual?  It was lovely.  I think I'll be repeating it for some time in order to support my work.